Writing When You Mentally Can't

We all know the feeling. The dread of looking at the blinking cursor, a blank sheet of paper, and not knowing what to write or say. A lot of the time we just trump it up to motivation but there’s some of us who can actually say it’s more than that. We mentally can’t. The motivation and the desire to write for a _____amount of time is there, but they just can not find the strength to fight the mental blockage that’s keeping their brain from fully functioning.

I am one of those people. And I am here to tell you that it’s hard, but not impossible.

I remember talking with a friend several months ago when she asked if I would be willing to write an article for her blog, R5:3-5, on anything about life with a neurodevelopmental disorder. After calming down from complete excitement, I agreed. Then came the easy part: the planning and writing. After weeks of deciding what to actually say, I looked up Matthew West and put his song Hello, my name is on an instant spotify repeat.

Easy then became the hardest thing I had ever encountered. After writing the first few sentences, I was instantly struck with anxiety and panic. I went from just rapid heartbeats and worry to suffocating and the desire for invisibility. I was in a meltdown, and my friend knew it. I was mentally blind, and scared. You see, both of us have come across times as writers where our chronic illness or disorder gets in the way, and we feel like we can’t get through it, but we do.

Now you may be reading this and thinking “You’re both writers, how is this even possible?” And the answer is God. God is bigger than our illnesses and diseases. He’s bigger than our trials and foggy headedness. He is the creator of the universe, and I know for a fact that if He cares about every sparrow that falls out of the sky, then He cares about my friend Sara, me, and you. So if God is using us as writers where we are and with our limitations, I know for a fact that God can use you too.

For I can do all things through Christ who strengthens me ~ Philippians 4:13