Blog Announcement: April's Post Theme

Greetings Fellow Humans! 'Tis I, King and Tyrant Bethany Vela, here to announce our post theme for next month!
In honor of Camp NaNoWriMo April will be a month long series of fiction-focused posts, designed specifically to assist our young fiction writers of today! All next month we will be sharing with you daily tips tricks and general helpfulnesses to get you through that novel and its inevitable aftermath.
We hope to provide you with the roadmap necessary to bring you one step closer to get published, and even if you don't finish that grand 'ol novel this month, next month, or the month after that, we hope to provide you with information you can keep as a reference any time you need it. So in the future, if you're wondering how the color of your MC's socks will affect your reader's overall opinion of them, look no further.
So be excited dear readers! And note that while this month we're focusing on the fiction aspects of writing, there will be many excellent articles and tips for ye yonder non-fictioneers as well! In the meantime, here's my post as usual, a sneak peek at some of what you'll be seeing in our posts next month. Enjoy!

Capturing your readers with your words is difficult, sometimes, it may even seem impossible. But capturing your readers with your characters? The people you formed out of words? That's even harder.
These days most authors are getting pretty desperate when it comes to making characters unique. Despite trying so hard to keep our characters from becoming stereotypical, that seems to be the ultimate destination. How can I avoid this cardboard? You moan. How can I make my characters interesting without making them… not… interesting..? The answer is simple really. You simply have to make sure that your characters aren’t open doors, but you also need to make sure you give your readers the key.
Catch my meaning yet?
Know where I’m going with this?
That’s right. Today I am discussing something every writer is struggling with today, something everyone is asking about, trying with all their might to grasp the concept, to understand. Well here I am to lay it out for you. It’s simple really. The best way you can give your readers a glimpse into your character’s personality, the only way really, is to tell your readers what color socks your MC wears.
I know, you’re really excited to see what I have to say about this. This is an important issue, so I want to make sure you can understand all of it. It gets a bit complicated, so I’m going to go slowly so you can keep up.
  1. The Classic White.
I think we all have some of these, whether we care to admit it or not. But how often do you wear them? Everyday? Every other month? EVERY OTHER YEAR? Furthermore, why do you wear them? Are your feet cold? Do you just need something to wear with your tennis shoes and you can’t find your black socks? Your normal people, I-Am-Not-A-Nerd socks??? Keep looking! Characters who wear white socks are likely the stereotypes you’re dreadfully afraid of. They like things quiet, peaceful. They probably drink their coffee out of white mugs too don’t they? WELL DON’T THEY?
My only tip to you concerning white socks is to avoid them at all costs. If necessary, add a pattern to these socks. How about stripes? Polkadots? How about kittens? Everyone likes a white, kitten-print sock.
       2. Black and Gray
Black and Gray socks are perhaps the safest colors you could choose when picking your character’s footwear. They don’t say anything about your character, except that he’s likely an introvert he likes drinking his coffee in a large mug rather than a small one he enjoys Italian cuisine and comfortable clothing and likes drawing. His favorite breakfast food is chicken and waffles which he also eats for lunch with hot sauce and pepperoni. He enjoys boating, going for runs, and watching movies with his stuffed elephant Al, whom he keeps on the couch for company, probably because he lives alone and is very sad.
So yes, black and gray socks are very safe because they say almost nothing about who your character is as a person and what sort of things he/she likes or is partial to.
     3. Colored -Neon vs. Pastel
Hopefully, by now you have already learned a lot about what sort of socks your MC should be wearing if you want your readers to like him. I also happen to know that you are likely very excited to see what else I have to say, especially on this particular category of interest within the topic of sock hues. This is a rather controversial point in the sock discussion. Both sides are convinced that they are right and the other is wrong, but I happen to think that in the long run, both sides have opinions that fit into the appropriate sockish mindset.
In generally, when you own a pair of socks that are neither white nor gray nor black, it is assumed you are an extrovert who owns a wide collection of socks in varying neonic hues. Often times, though, this is simply not the case. If your character wears neon socks it is very likely that he/she is a very shy and private person who wishes they could get out more. But since talking in front of people makes them nervous, they probably don’t have many friends.
To make up for their lack of friends, they purchase wildly extreme colored socks, most of which would probably glow in the dark or blind a person looking at them under a blacklight. This, however, is a problem. As the character’s anxiety grows, so will his/her need to purchase more and more extremely bright socks. Sooner or later you will come upon them a)taping googly eyes to the bottoms of their feet and then talking to their toes as though they were their friends. b) Laughing uncontrollably while soaking the socks in gasoline to make fireballs for which they will then use to throw at a1) unsuspecting houses or b1) the houses of their social enemies. c) You will enter their house one day to find it filled with piles and piles of mismatched colorful socks. You will dig through the piles, calling their name and fearing the worst. After hours of searching, you will have to bring in a crane to carry away all the socks, under which you will find the deceased body of said character. You will probably weep and wonder: Why I who didn’t I choose the safe road by simply giving them black or gray socks? Your tears will do nothing to solve the problem, however, and your story will be dead. The final and of course most improbable instance is that you will d) enter their house to find their (large) sock drawer organized by hue. Your character won’t be home, of course, because they are the CEO of a large stocks company in Cleveland and are doing very well.
So far in my career, I have only seen the final instance of a colorfully-footed character but twice. Both times ended in the character becoming president and ending world hunger. But you know, that’s not important. What is important is the fact that you should never believe everything you read on the internet, and that most characters who wear pastel colored socks are 17 times more likely to slip on some ice in the middle of summer and die.
       4. Stripes VS. Polkadots -What You Need To Know
Alright everyone. I’m going to cut to the chase here. If you’ve read this far, you are probably one of the most dedicated blog-reader-people’s out there. I just discussed the fictional color of socks to a depth so peculiar and unhelpful that you’ll never be able to think of your feet again without feeling nauseous. Why? To pass on some extremely critical information, of course, that’s why.
Nah, I’m just messing with you. It’s okay, you can come back.
Dude, I said it was safe.
^Those two words. Two reasons why I put you through all that dull reading. To tell you that you have the dedication it takes to set out and do what it is you want to do. It’s okay if you’re afraid. You just have to turn around and stop running. Stop running and start writing.
You know, finishing a novel is an incredibly daunting task, one most people aren’t willing to take on. Kind of like that whole sock color speech. If you read through all that, I salute you, because even though I was kind of laughing with every sentence, it was REALLY boring. Seriously. Now I’m sure you’re thinking: Sheesh. You couldn’t have just told me this in the first place without making me read about socks? And yeah, I definitely could of, but I didn’t because 1) it’s more fun this way, and 2) I enjoy the torture of the spirit that reading seven paragraphs of nothing but socks brings with it.
And since you probably want a more legitimate reason to NOT bring out the pitchforks and torches, 3) because I wanted to demonstrate to you that if you can have enough of an attention span to read all of that mumbo jumbo, you have enough to reach for your goals and write your book! So what are you waiting for? If you’re not out of here already you should go now, because I’m going to start talking about socks again for the benefit of those people who skip to the ends of blog posts just to see the conclusion, that way they’ll never know what they missed. So in conclusion, striped socks and polka dotted socks have virtually no effect on the final outcome of your protagonist’s character arc, but gray and green socks with little moose’s printed onto the fabric can really take their toll on your story, showing your readers exactly what genre it is your writing (Cleptopian Romantic Fantasy with a Dystopian Twist). In the same way socks with tiger stripe print versus socks with zebra stripe print show strength and empowerment where the other shows timidness and a strong fashion sense.
I hope this post has enlightened you on the importance of your MC’s feet. It’s something all authors should really take the time to learn more about.
Until the Dimming of the Stars, My Beloved Readers

1 comment:

  1. Okay, you've convinced me. Socks are important. (the analogy is AWESOME ahh!)